To go or not to go HOME

To go or not to go?

Contemplation. Pros vs cons.

What's in my heart?
I want to see my family. I want to meet up with my old friends. Grandpa is not doing well. I really want to visit him. Although he showed favoritism at times and I am his least favourite among all the cute grandchildren, I do respect him. He is my grandpa who brought up my mum and cared for my family.

On the other hand...my progress of finding an accommodation in Wellington is NIL. Don't get me wrong. I've done my homework---"trademe-ing" and I even emailed some of the tenants BUT nobody reply me =___='''. In addition, I have unconsciously developed a phobia to flight. Maybe it is the long hours of sleeplessness and restricted movement. Maybe it is the dreadful thought of sitting next to a hyuntai. But above all, what really hinders me from going home all these years is pressure. Pressure within the family. Pressure from relatives. Pressure from all the other 3 gu 6 po. The amplitude of the sound wave in my family has always been at the higher end of the bell curve =P, so I am kinda immune to that. My aunties and uncles are generous loving people. In fact they are my sponsors for my breathtaking, expensive education. But having said that, it comes with a high expectation. Expectation to do extremely well with distinction written all over the exam papers! *gulp gulp* And there are always people who put your spirit down in whatever you do. * Bigger gulp*

Time is running out and I have yet to decide.

And oh, adding to the cons...my lovely but naughty aunties are scheming for a matchmaking. I can smell it. =P

But yeah, I have a feeling I will regret it if I did not go back this summer.